Sunday, June 3, 2007



When we had Teralyn, six years ago, I had no idea what we were in for. We spent the first six months of her life wondering what had hit us. It seemed that every evening we would spend trying to keep her up to no avail, and then ten o'clock hit and we were all up all night! Brian would sleep with her on his chest making sure that binkie stayed put. I would desperately try to get a couple hours of sleep until she wanted to eat again. I thought we would never get through that time.

After six months with a baby that cried all the time, Teralyn finally started to act like a "normal baby". I couldn't believe that she actually let me put her down. My family couldn't believe that she was smiling! It was so relieving to finally get a little time for myself and to be able to sleep at night. I promised myself I would figure out what was wrong. I read all the books and magazines on colic that I could get my hands on. I was determined to never have that happen to me again.

A few months later when we found out we were pregnant with Shaylee, I almost cried thinking about what I had just been through. I was so excited to have her come into my family, but terrified of those months right after birth. I prayed every night I would have a good baby and hoped for the best.

Two months after Shay was born I went off dairy. It seemed like in a month things got much easier. When I had Ashtyn, I went off dairy after two weeks, and with Raegan I went off dairy the minute I had her.

These past two weeks have been better than I think I have ever had with a newborn. I can't say it's been easy. Especially this last week without my mom or my husband at home with me. I also can't say that I don't second guess what I'm doing. You would think that a mother of four knew exactly what her baby needs when she goes into a crying fit. I don't know if I will ever understand all of it. I do know though, that I am much more patient than I was with Teralyn. I know that I can get through it without losing my sanity (sometimes I wonder), and that someday I will be able to eat dairy again! I can't wait to have a bowl of Moose Track ice cream!


Brian sets up camp most nights on the couch with Raegan on his chest



Even though I have moments where I wonder "what did I do?" I have to say that it's all worth it. I love being a mommy and can't wait to get that first smile.



Ashty and Raegan on my bed

13 comments:

Mendy said...

You are a perfect mother for all those beautiful girls, Brenda! I am so glad to know you and call you my friend. I didn't realize the other day at lunch that you had gone off dairy the minute she was born. You are so devoted! I love that. Please call me if you need anything. Shay and Ash are welcome to come play with my girls anytime! And I AM bringing dinner this week--I promise!

Joni said...

I am so glad you posted again! I've been checking your blog religiously:) It's funny how you mentioned that while you would THINK you know exactly what to do for #4, there is still that doubt. I'm wondering, how do I deal with an infant again? And it was only two years ago... It's just such a different stage. I'm so glad that she's been an easier baby for you. I know that Tera was a bit legendary! Thanks for the pictures, too. It is so sweet to see everybody again.

Dawn said...

Congrats Brenda, she's gorgeous

Julia said...

I've heard that each baby is a little bit different, so I wouldn't worry too much, if I were you, about not knowing everything. Regan being your fourth just means you know more things to try when she cries :D

Mendy's right--you are a wonderful mother, your girls are so very sweet, not to mention so VERY cute!! Can't wait to see Regan in person (I may have to stop by and bother you some evening).

Hules said...

Wow, Brenda- to go off dairy. You're amazing. I do understand how it would be worth it though. Thanks so much for the photos. Time just flies so fast! I mean, I still vividly remember Shaylee asleep on Brian's shoulder in Gospel Doctrine every week. I wish I could be there to see your lovely girls.

Oh, and I think it's a really good thing that babies come with their own personalities. I think it shows us that we're okay as parents because what didn't work for one might work for another. All the developmental theories I studied in school really just come down to one thing- intuition in raising each child.

Jenni said...

Those pics are adorable!! I'm so sorry you have to sacrifice dairy!! That must be hard, but it sounds like it's really worth it. Your description of Teralyn is so similar to how Sophie was... I honestly think I've blocked out some of those colicy, sleep-deprived, early days. I'm glad that Raegan has been an easier baby for ya. She sure is CUTE!! :)

Corinne said...

I was so pleased to see this DARLING Reagan in real life on Friday. She is so beautiful and you and Brian are such fantastic parents. I watch the two of you go-with-the-flow so expertly with your sweet girls - and I am totally inspired. I'm so glad to be your friend. I'd love to have all the big girls over, I'll call you :)

Cami said...

Oh! So cute. You are such a great mommy. I'm sorry you have to eat no ice cream. I would cry. My sister had a lactose intolerant child and didn't figure it out for 10 months! It sounds like you're having a lovely time, and one of these days I am coming over to steal her. Ok bye.

The Tidwell Family said...

I can't wait to she her!! I am very excited.

I am glad things are going well. I had to go off dairy with Wyatt....and strawberries, chocolate, citrus, and other things.

You are a wonderful mother!

Kellie said...

This brings back many bittersweet memories, Brenda. These are good days though, and your attitude is awesome. Keep gunning for sleep whenever you can, take time to lounge on the bed with all your girls gathered around you, don't worry about the house, and savor the good moments.

Alicia said...

The thought of another infant at this point would just freak me out...but you and Brian take it in stride! You are both awesome parents! We sure miss you all! Raegan is gorgeous, as are the other three ladies. Hey, what about that Church history trip????

Hules said...

Hey, Brenda- How are you doing? My girls would give anything to be able to have a play date with your girls again. There are a lot of girls in our ward.... but directly in our neighborhood there are about 8 boys--- and well, they are going through an "anti-boy" stage.

I so wish I could just come visit you and see how you are doing! I miss you and I'm grateful for all our fun memories.

PS- You are both fantastic parents & all your girls are so wonderful!
Much love!

becca g said...

I love seeing those pictures Brenda! I wish I had the courage to have baby #4. I hope you post again soon, I love hearing how things are going with you. I have resisted this blogging craze but I can see the appeal when I get to see those great pictures and hear how you are doing.