Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Still Plugging Along...

Quite a few things happened this week. One, is that I reached 32 weeks with no major issues. I am quite thrilled that I made it this long and I still feel sane. I don't know, maybe you'll have to ask my husband if I really am.sane.... I had another ultrasound and everything looks pretty much the same, no movement from the placenta, and the baby looks fine. The doctor did say that 32 weeks is a major milestone, so Bri and I are going to celebrate with ice cream of course. Can't wait.

I'm still here in the hospital, and the doctor today told me I will be here until the end. The good news is that she also told me that at 36 weeks, I will have an amnio to see if the baby's lungs are strong enough, and then the c section. So..... only three and a half weeks left!!! I've done five weeks, what's three and half more right?

The happenings with the family-

Ashtyn is riding a bike!! Yes, she does it all alone. About a week before I went on bedrest she was able to do a little with our help, but now she is a full blown bike rider. She has watched her sisters riding around our cul-de-sac and made up her mind that she was going to be that good, and now she is! Good job Ashty!

My sweet little Raegan turned three this week. I just can't believe she is so old. When I see her (which is every few days) she seems so much older and says bigger words. My favorite thing she has said lately is, "mommy are you still in the hosibal?". Oh my Raegy, I love her so much. What joy she brings to my life!

Raegy is in love with a cute little kid in our ward (or they used to be in our ward) named Luke. When I told her a few days before that it was going to be her birthday soon, the first thing she said was, "Is Lukey coming?". So, even though I can't officially give her a birthday party from far away, I had to arrange one last play date with her best friend. He is moving this week back to Utah so it was a perfect goodbye for two good friends. My mom and dad watched them of course and said they had a great time. She took pictures and Lukey even brought her a little present. I talked to her on the phone and she was so happy.

That night Brian brought all the girls and my parents for a little birthday party at the hospital. I couldn't have been happier. It really made my week to see my little girl so happy on her birthday. We had cake which grandma made and Raegy told me all about it. She opened all her gifts and was delighted with each one (good job Bri!). It's amazing what a bubble machine and a stuffed dog will do to a three year old.

Okay, so here are some of my favorite things about my little Raegy:

* She is so cheerful (most of the time that is)
* She babbles and babbles about everything- tells me all the news that is going on at home.
* Tells me every day on the phone she is a big girl because she goes potty, but she hasn't quite mastered it yet.
* Is the best hugger in the world of three year olds
* Would be happy with peanut butter and pretzels every day for lunch
* Loves oatmeal (the old fashioned kind!) and calls it "me meal."
* Loves to read books, but associates them with nap, so many times refuses, but just can't resist in the end.
* Hates bread of any kind and even though she says she loves sandwiches, never eats them
* Has just recently learned to love bagels (there is some hope to sandwiches)
* Refuses just about every vegetable, but can be bribed with treats.
* Can ride a scooter with the best of them.
* Has quite the screech when she gets hurt, the whole neighborhood knows.
* Adores her big sisters.
* Will eat Gogurt (oogurt) every day if I let her.
* And my favorite, says the sweetest prayers, and won't let us go to bed without scripture study.

What would we do without Raegy in our family. She really has brought so much joy, I can't even tell you. I'm so thankful for my little three year old!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

31 Weeks and Counting

In two days, it will officially be four weeks since I have been in the hospital. It's actually gone by faster than I thought it would. Although some days I think I am going crazy and just want to break out and run the halls, most of the time it hasn't been terrible. I've watched way too much tv and movies, read some books and lots of magazines, eaten way too much chocolate, learned how to knit while listening to books on mp3 (thanks Mendy!), and talked my nurses ears off. It seems like the life right? It actually is sometimes. I'll probably miss it when I am back to my normal routine, making meals, doing dishes, laundry, etc. etc., and of course all that with a new baby. So, this is what keeps me feeling sane. I won't get this again for a very long time, might as well enjoy it. Oh, and it has helped so much to have so many of my kind friends and family visit, call and write letters. Thank you, thank you! I can't tell you how much it has meant to me.
Well, to put another drama into my life, (it feels like I have something new every week), there was a blood clot found in my leg. It had been hurting for a few days and I finally decided I should say something about it, so they gave me an ultrasound and found a few. Now, before you fret too much, it wasn't in my deep veins, but in the artificial ones on the top. Therefore, it will probably not be anything to worry about and won't travel to my heart. But, it does mean that my doctors are little more nervous about my veins and my clotting and so they have put me on a blood thinner which is injected twice a day in my stomach. Hmm.... I was not happy about that, and neither is my stomach I tell you. With getting stuck for the heparin twice a day, getting blood drawn every three days and changing my IV every four days, I'm starting to feel like a science experiment. The good news is, I am now officially 31 weeks along, so not too much longer to go. I can do this right?
Mothers Day last Sunday was wonderful. Really it was. I had a great nap in the afternoon and then my cute husband brought all my kids and my mom with roses, cheesecake, gift card from Old Navy (hee hee), and cards my kids had made for me. We had a fun little party in my hospital room. I was also so glad to share it with my sweet mother who is still here helping us. We got to surprise her with her mother's day present too, which was that we arranged for my dad to come and stay with us for a while. Of course she found our surprise a couple days early when she was searching on her bank website. Oh that mom, always finding out her secrets! But, I think she was pretty excited even if she wasn't too surprised.
So my dad came Tuesday and I couldn't be happier, I think they are pretty happy to see each other too. It has now been six weeks since she has left him to help us out! I tell ya, I feel like I can never repay her for all she has done. I knew she was missing my dad more than anything, and he was missing her, so this makes me feel much better. And the best thing is, he is here for three weeks! Yes, three weeks, can you believe it? Those who know my dad probably can't. I mean he even left his cub scout troupe to be here. That's saying something. (:
My kids have been troupers through this whole thing. They of course are loving this time with grandma and grandpa and don't get it a lot, so I am grateful that they have this time to get to know each other better. I know they are in good hands. Brian has been taking them to see me two at a time lately rather than all four at once, and this has helped with the craziness.
Well, here we go off to another week. Every day I make it with this baby is another accomplishment. Can't wait to make it 32 weeks!!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Mothering from afar

I think the hardest part about being in the hospital for so long, is not being with my girls. I get to spend quite a bit of time with Brian, which is so great. After he gets the girls to bed, he comes up to the hospital to be with me. I love it, and don't know what I would do without him. But, I still have that ache in my heart for my sweet girls. I do get to see them, but it's so different than being with them, loving them, and caring for them, basically being their mom. Somehow, even though I know I'm doing the right thing for our family and our baby, I can't get over the fact that I'm not being a mom to them right now. I almost feel like I've abandoned them. Yes, it's only been a few weeks, but it feels much longer. Are my two little ones old enough to understand that I don't want to be away from them? That I would much rather be there with them during this time? I don't know if they are. Yet, I feel they are safe and happy. I feel they all are. When I talk to them on the phone, and when they come and visit me, they seem happy and content, and that makes me even more grateful for my sweet mother who has sacrificed so much to be here and help my family. What would I do without her at this time? My kids are on their same schedules, they sleep in their own beds, they have their dad and grandma their to love them. The only thing that is different is their mom isn't there. It's such a relief to know that things are fairly normal to them right now. So that's what keeps me going, and someday, not too far away I hope, things will be back to normal and I can be their mom again.
As far as my pregnancy and the baby goes, everything is pretty much the same. Although I am 30 weeks along now, which is a huge feat in my mind. My ultrasound yesterday seemed to make all my doctors happy. I guess they were more worried about the placenta abrupting from the uterus, or the baby in some kind of distress. Although that was great news too, I was hoping to see a migrating placenta which would mean my going home. Well, unfortunately for me it was in the same exact place. No movement, and no hope for an early return. I was even told that at this point it probably won't happen, so they will schedule another ultrasound for four more weeks. That seems like an eternity for me, but I will plug along if it means our baby will be safe. I was surprised by my emotions yesterday. I guess I really did believe the placenta would move up. Or maybe it was joy from being out for the first time in two and a half weeks, even if it was only down a few halls.
So today I just received another IV (which has to be changed every four days). I have to say, that's the second worse part about being here. I'm not a huge fan of needles especially when they can't seem to find my veins. I will have quite a few scars to show for this when I get out. But, despite that, I am doing pretty well. I am a little lonely at times, but thanks to some wonderful friends I feel very loved. I look around at my room and see so many wonderful cards, books, magazines, and treats, that my sweet friends and family have brought me and I can't tell you how grateful I am. I really feel so blessed and know that Heavenly Father is watching over our family right now. I read a touching article yesterday about a family who almost lost their seventeen month old boy whom they found not breathing in the bath tub. It made me realize how good I have it. How quickly life goes, and how precious it is. Whatever trials we have, we need to take them with faith and let our fears wash away. As this mother said, " I have no room in my heart for both fear and faith. One of them has to go, and I choose faith."

Monday, May 3, 2010

One Crazy Summer

I was hoping to stay up on my blog now that I am in the hospital, but apparently the hospital has blocked any websites for blogging or Facebooking, so I finally decided that I would make the most of it and email Brian my posts and have him blog it for me. So, here goes...

Well, as most of you know, it's been quite a crazy five or so weeks for our family. On my 19th week check up, during the ultrasound, my doctor told me that I have placenta previa. She said that it was marginal and that hopefully it would resolve itself by the end of the pregnancy. I was actually kind of expecting it because of all the low lying problems I have had from the beginning. She didn't give me any instructions of bedrest though and just reassured me that it would be good in a way, because I would get extra ultrasounds. So... I didn't think much about it.

About four weeks later when I was around 24 weeks along, I woke up at two in the morning with pretty heavy bleeding. Since it was so late at night, we decided to wait and see if it went away and went back to sleep. Which it did, thankfully. Then the next morning I went in to get it checked out where I got quite a lashing from my doctor about not calling in the night. Well, what's a tired pregnant girl supposed to do, I mean I need my sleep too right? Anyway, it made us quite a bit more cautious. Still I wasn't put on bedrest, but told I need to take it a little easier.

Two days later I had another bleeding episode. Of course it was a Saturday, (argh!) so I knew I would be submitted to the hospital. Apparently their beepers weren't working that day, but the next day (Sunday) I was able to get through and then sent to the hospital. This time I was submitted over night and thankfully the bleeding had stopped by the time I got there. They gave me steroid shots for the baby's lungs and the next day did another ultrasound where they found that the placenta previa wasn't just marginal, but complete. Meaning completely over the cervix. This time they sent me home on strict bed rest.

Meanwhile, my sweet friend had taken my kids and arranged a whole bunch of meals for us. I really don't know what I would have done without her. It was so nice to know my kids had somewhere to go that week and meals were taken care of! So, I sat on the couch all week hoping it was all just be a temporary fix and my uterus would grow a whole bunch in the next few weeks, migrating the placenta up and that everything would be fine. The next ultrasound was scheduled on my 28th week which was still three and half weeks away, so I knew I would be stuck at least until then.

I called my mom and let her know my situation and the first thing she said was, "do you need me to come out and watch your kids?". Oh man, I couldn't have heard sweeter words than that. So, she scheduled a flight for a few days later and she's been out here ever since. Which has been quite a while I tell you!

Okay so, we spent the next two weeks with my mom. She made our breakfasts, lunches, dinners, took the kids to school and back every day, cleaned my house (I mean thoroughly cleaned it), washed dishes, played with Raegan and put her to naps, etc. etc.. Oh, she is going to be so tired after this whole thing. And, I had to stay on the couch watching her do everything. Oh, and let's not forget, Raegan had just started potty training before this whole thing came to pass, and it was going well, but now has taken a back burner. So, as I have been wearing my mom out, she has watched me sit on the couch with my books. I tell you, it was nice for the first few days, but has gotten quite hard. Since I feel pretty good, it's easy to get up and just do a few things and think nothing about it.

After two weeks of this, one day I had a really hard day and didn't feel right, I went to take a nap for a little while, and woke up with pretty heavy bleeding. We called the doctor, which she sent us right down to the hospital. The bleeding stopped after the first night there and thankfully they didn't have to take our baby yet. I was then 27 weeks along. The next day I had another ultrasound where they found the baby just doing great, but my placenta still completely covering my cervix. So... I was told I would be staying in the hospital, for a least a few weeks.

So now I am 29 weeks along, the baby is doing great, but no real changes with my previa. Apparently, it takes two to four weeks for the placenta to move at all, so I still have another week or so before the next ultrasound. Today is Sunday and on Tuesday I will have been in the hospital for two weeks. Am I going a little crazy? I think I'm starting to get there. Although I can't complain too much because I have had so many wonderful friends visit me and do things for my family and I can't tell you how grateful I am for that. It makes me so emotional as I'm typing this, thinking of all of my wonderful friends and family who have supported us. I really do feel blessed. Our baby has made it much further than we could have hoped, and my kids and family are all happily at home with each other. What more could I ask for I tell you! I can't think of a better situation for us in this crazy time that we are in. And, how can I express my gratitude for my sweet mom, I really don't know, but I hope to find a way that I can someday. She has repeatedly told me that she will stay as long as I need her. It has now been about four weeks that she has been here, and I know it's not easy for her or for my dad at home alone. But, she keeps telling me not to worry, she wants to do this and that when this baby comes out healthy, it will all be worth it. Just to have that security that my kids are feeling right now, while their mom is in the hospital, makes it worth it to me.

Now here's to hoping, and praying, that the placenta will move up and out of the way in the next few weeks. I have been told that it doesn't usually happen, if it does at all, until after 32 weeks. So, I may have a few more weeks in the hospital. Brian comes to visit me every evening ( last night we played Scrabble, one of these days I will beat him I tell you!) and mom and my girls come about every three days. Since there's not too much to do here (expect push buttons) they get a little bored, but it's always great to see them. In the meantime, I am watching too much tv, snacking a little too much (thanks Tracy for telling the ward to bring me chocolate!), gaining more and more weight by the day, catching up on books I have meant to read forever, and doing a lot of email. So, I'm keeping my spirits up. I even get bathroom privileges now, which I am very grateful for. I tell you, those bed pans are no fun.... And next time I will keep you posted before I have to write another essay...