Mommy Daughter Date and an ER Visit
Okay so, Brian and I have struggled on how to teach our kids the value of money and chores. When we first got married, I was all about our kids having chores and earning an allowance each week. Bri argued that this way isn't teaching them that being part of a family is helping each other, and that there should just be things that they do every day just because they are in our family. I have to say, he has changed my mind. So, over the past seven or so years, we have tried to teach our kids to help out by doing the dishes and cleaning their rooms etc. with no monetary rewards.
So, now that our kids are a little older, they really don't understand the value of money. In the past when they needed something, we would get it for them. When they wanted something, they would have to put it on their wish list for Christmas or their birthday. It has worked out just fine, but now they are old enough that they should be working for and saving their money so our plans need to change.
This is our plan that we have been doing the past couple of weeks. Hopefully it can teach them to both help around just because, but also to learn how to work and save money...
I think I have talked about our bean jars before. We fill these jars up with beans depending on if they get their things done during the day without a lot of asking or complaining. They have to clean their rooms, make their beds, get dressed and ready for the day, help with dishes, do piano, etc. They then get a handful of beans. So far this has worked great. The kids are so motivated because when their jar is full, they get a mommy daughter date or a daddy daughter date. Now our plan is that when it is all the way full, they also get ten dollars. They have to give some to tithing and some to savings, and the rest they get to spend or save for something they want. They also have to use their own money from now on for presents for their sisters on birthdays and Christmas..
We have been doing this for two weeks now. The kids are more motivated and Tera is saving up for a new backpack, since hers has ripped. I think their first motivation though is still those dates with mom and dad. Last week they all three got to the top finally, and the only thing they seemed to care about was the date. Hmmm.... I guess it's a good thing that they still consider time with mom or dad more important than money. Or, maybe it's that we usually end up getting ice cream at the end of the date...
Anyway, Ashtyn was the first to get to the top so we went on a mommy daughter date on Thursday evening. She was so excited and it was so fun to spend some alone time with her. First we went to Wendy's and got ourselves a picnic. We took a blanket and went to Lake Elkhorn and ate our picnic. Then we played on the jungle gym and I even went down the slide with her (I don't think those things are made for six foot tall adults). We walked around the lake for a little bit and watched the ducks and then headed on over to McDonald's to get an ice cream. We sat on a hill overlooking the lake and ate it and laughed and laughed at our faces with chocolate all over them. We both had a blast and we both can't wait until next time.
My ER visit
When I got home the girls went to bed, I fed Raegan and then headed on over to my book club. We had a good time discussing our book, The Book Thief, and stayed until about 11:00. My throat started hurting really bad and I noticed it was swelling a little. I took a couple of ibuprofen and went to sleep. About 3:00 in the morning I woke up with my throat killing me and very swollen. I looked in the mirror and my uvula was huge! I was getting a little nervous since I felt it was starting to block my breathing. I woke up Brian and talked to him a bit and we decided to wait until morning. At 6:00, I woke up and could barely talk, my throat was so swollen. I was beginning to panic and had to tilt my head forward to breath clearly. Bri called my doctor and she said to go into the ER.
We got the girls ready for school, sent them over to our neighbors, and headed on to the ER. I got in quickly, but of course it took forever in the ER. They gave me a steroid shot in my arm to stop the swelling and then took a strep culture. At one point my blood pressure dropped really low and I was beginning to pass out. They took my blood sugar and it was 70, so they have me orange juice and crackers. I was much better after that.
Four hours later, my swelling was going down and my strep throat culture was positive. I was so relieved to go home, with just a strep infection because in my mind I thought it was an allergy of some sort. Bri stayed home all day and helped me out and I went through a while of fever and tiredness, but after a few doses of antibiotics, I am feeling much better.
So now that you have heard my whole crazy day of mommy daughter dates, book groups, and an ER visit, I am curious about how you veteran moms and dads out there, and even the not so veteran handle the chore, money situation. Do you give them allowance or are they just expected to help?
So, now that our kids are a little older, they really don't understand the value of money. In the past when they needed something, we would get it for them. When they wanted something, they would have to put it on their wish list for Christmas or their birthday. It has worked out just fine, but now they are old enough that they should be working for and saving their money so our plans need to change.
This is our plan that we have been doing the past couple of weeks. Hopefully it can teach them to both help around just because, but also to learn how to work and save money...
I think I have talked about our bean jars before. We fill these jars up with beans depending on if they get their things done during the day without a lot of asking or complaining. They have to clean their rooms, make their beds, get dressed and ready for the day, help with dishes, do piano, etc. They then get a handful of beans. So far this has worked great. The kids are so motivated because when their jar is full, they get a mommy daughter date or a daddy daughter date. Now our plan is that when it is all the way full, they also get ten dollars. They have to give some to tithing and some to savings, and the rest they get to spend or save for something they want. They also have to use their own money from now on for presents for their sisters on birthdays and Christmas..
We have been doing this for two weeks now. The kids are more motivated and Tera is saving up for a new backpack, since hers has ripped. I think their first motivation though is still those dates with mom and dad. Last week they all three got to the top finally, and the only thing they seemed to care about was the date. Hmmm.... I guess it's a good thing that they still consider time with mom or dad more important than money. Or, maybe it's that we usually end up getting ice cream at the end of the date...
Anyway, Ashtyn was the first to get to the top so we went on a mommy daughter date on Thursday evening. She was so excited and it was so fun to spend some alone time with her. First we went to Wendy's and got ourselves a picnic. We took a blanket and went to Lake Elkhorn and ate our picnic. Then we played on the jungle gym and I even went down the slide with her (I don't think those things are made for six foot tall adults). We walked around the lake for a little bit and watched the ducks and then headed on over to McDonald's to get an ice cream. We sat on a hill overlooking the lake and ate it and laughed and laughed at our faces with chocolate all over them. We both had a blast and we both can't wait until next time.
My ER visit
When I got home the girls went to bed, I fed Raegan and then headed on over to my book club. We had a good time discussing our book, The Book Thief, and stayed until about 11:00. My throat started hurting really bad and I noticed it was swelling a little. I took a couple of ibuprofen and went to sleep. About 3:00 in the morning I woke up with my throat killing me and very swollen. I looked in the mirror and my uvula was huge! I was getting a little nervous since I felt it was starting to block my breathing. I woke up Brian and talked to him a bit and we decided to wait until morning. At 6:00, I woke up and could barely talk, my throat was so swollen. I was beginning to panic and had to tilt my head forward to breath clearly. Bri called my doctor and she said to go into the ER.
We got the girls ready for school, sent them over to our neighbors, and headed on to the ER. I got in quickly, but of course it took forever in the ER. They gave me a steroid shot in my arm to stop the swelling and then took a strep culture. At one point my blood pressure dropped really low and I was beginning to pass out. They took my blood sugar and it was 70, so they have me orange juice and crackers. I was much better after that.
Four hours later, my swelling was going down and my strep throat culture was positive. I was so relieved to go home, with just a strep infection because in my mind I thought it was an allergy of some sort. Bri stayed home all day and helped me out and I went through a while of fever and tiredness, but after a few doses of antibiotics, I am feeling much better.
So now that you have heard my whole crazy day of mommy daughter dates, book groups, and an ER visit, I am curious about how you veteran moms and dads out there, and even the not so veteran handle the chore, money situation. Do you give them allowance or are they just expected to help?
Comments
I guess i got off topic there....
We've done the jelly beans in a jar, and now we are doing points for good behavior, helping with out saying "but i didn't do it" and when they get 10 points, they get to pick a prize out of our $ store prize box. They do get a .25 a day for doing their chore every day.
We haven't come to a concrete agreement on money/chores yet. My initial thoughts have been the same as yours....and Joseph's the same at Brian's. So we've had to do some compromising. At this point (and we haven't really started doing it with Ryan yet....he's just starting to get to the age where he can be very helpful) is that certain jobs, such as keeping personal spaces clean and pitching in with general household chores, are things that are just part of being a member of the family and helping out. Chores above and beyond (such as mowing the lawn, when they are old enough or doing more than their share of laundry or whatever) are things that can earn them an allowance. Joseph's initial thinking was that they would just get an allowance...but I wanted them to learn the value of earning their money. Since we haven't implemented it yet, it's hard to say if it will actually work...but it was the best compromise we've come up with yet!
Jeffy has really been wanting allowance lately too. We have been doing our points chart, and he can either spend time with us, "buy" video game time, or there are treats and toys he can use his points on. He doesn't actually get money, but he can spend it based on how well he does his chores, I guess. One thing is, the other day he bought a pay per view movie without asking. For his punishment, he had to use points, and that was bad enough for him. But also, he does get money from grandparents in the mail for just about every holiday, so he still pays tithing and has to choose what he'll use money on. I think that is good enough for me.
We don't have any kind of allowance system in place yet, but your bean jars sound like a great idea!!
Every month, we give them an amount equal to twice their age (divided into 4 weekly amounts). This means that Hailey (who is 7) gets $14 a month, or $3.50 a week. Jensen (who just turned 6) gets $12 a month, or $3 a week. That works out well, because when they have a birthday, they also get a small raise in their allowance! Each time they are paid, they have to figure out what 10% is and put it in their tithing jar, and they have to put 50% in their piggy bank college fund. They get to keep the other 40%, in little wallets that I bought at FiveBelow, and that's what they can use to spend however they wish. It's working out beautifully. The only real problem is that I sometimes forget to pay them every week, so I'm often doing two paydays at once.
Honestly, as long as there is balance you can teach both concepts.
We don't really have a policy for the kids. Leah likes to help out every now and then. Caleb manages to pick up some toys occasionally. Leah doesn't really understand money yet, so I guess we're a "do it cause you're in the family" type of people right now.
It's so sweet that the girls remember Leah. Jeff and I were smiling that Shay thought of her as her best friend. Such a sweetie!